whyinenglish Song List I

M6S Song . Doves
House Of Cards . Radiohead
Cherry . Ratatat
Ramparts . John Frusciante
Still Suspicion Holds You Tight . Black Rebel Motorcycle Club
Sunday Part II . Cibo Matto
You Make It Easy . Air
Wicked Game . Chris Isaak
Tell Me When The Party´s Over . Jay-Jay Johanson
The Eraser . Thom Yorke
Into The Woods . My Morning Jacket

The White Mass Turn Me Paranoid

Paranoia came today (wed april 16th)
when view was white while the ride;
Sun was all red, like a red moon, without rays, without its sense of being, like mars if it would be closer.
City was in the middle act of moving, almost finishing the day, when everybody think in their home.
Like "ensayo sobre la ceguera", have you read that book?... was the city at that hour of this evening..., the eyes failing in the most basic driving tricks made of this day the saddest of somepeople´s life. That white mass coused fatal car accidents.
A smell over all the city, that white thing in clothes, inside houses, all a mess. All an event now when people seems to be living normally, vacations are very far away, no more concerts, "agro" theme is in resting, but this shit sounds like a lot of things to me: cows need grass and here people need cows... need clean air, need food, need everything that represents a big problem to get it now. Paranoid about my surroundings, paranoid as always am, paranoid like my face when was the first class day here with thousands of girls walking to all sides for school...I need my man maybe...but paranoid: i´m just paranoid rigth now.

Profile 1

Like a newborn I start to thing about the new face of everything everymorning...the task today is the peculiar trick wich some people use to talk. The caracteristic that give me the impresion they have on mind the intention just for the very moment. Who have closed cases about subjects they aren´t available for subtlety. That´s quite according to profiles.
Just like when unconsciously we go over the supposed certainty for things and every sentence is said to guess the true or whatever appear like the true with lies, with little tricks disguised like white weapons; what a dirty way to get the true for the indefensives...for people who everymoment have the pure idea on mind, always exposed to the world... the hability for tricks steals positions, make systems, rules lifes, rules movements; and the pure idea not always is defended.

Tourist Walk II

Yes, I´ll say it again: a tourist place is like a fake landscape painted on a quarter hanging of a wall of my granny´s house.
And who are the peolple that love this kind of instalations?
Yes, you are in the right...the gringo, who more!!. It´s their style, their way to celebrate their like for everything, making an altar to things...isn´t like this?
for this theory I think some curious places have been alterated to install at the tourist...that dangerous and sometimes ignorant personage.
Some huge zoos are the must true instalation to give animals the most original place to stay and for tourists to admire that wild life... or, have you seen around there a gardener cutting the grass to the deers? or picking up the fish shit? or bathing a lion?...No!! you´re not...so, why could not people conserve those historic or curious places just the most original posible?
fiuff!! or maybe I just don´t like that places where are ten shops selling the same souvenirs, and all is fake, I just get funny angry.
But, but, but....I went to an amazing place, was an old neighborhood..you supose to see people equally beautiful as beauty the old and french style buildings living there. But in this ex port some zones very poor people have taken this beautiful old houses. More inside, you see again circumstances give to a place exceptional features: houses were painted with different colors, because the poverty of that old times (beginnings of c. 20th)just allowed people to paint their houses in parts, with scraps of paint given from the ships that arrive at the old and today forgotten port.
And the port..mmm delicious cause are devastating, forgotten, dirty and old, all a survivor, like a mummy, all real. Capital are limited for the river, so I saw some people taking a little boat to cross the river... I thought was something touristic but no! for my surprise was a public transport; bizarre but amazing...
I saw too, a rusty boat, on surface; enormous cranes, a black and a white one; the river was black, and the sand with black points, where small bubbles were sparking on the river surface...and some people with instalations of poverty around the port... woow
...fuck the moment when I damage my camera in México...

Eclectic

Without company
With a "minnie fashion"(emo) fringe
a blouse 60´s retro style, dark new jeans,
fashion brilliant red sandals,
an old fashioned brown bag on shoulder
I always thought everybody display on street a way of life;
a defined one: for their clothes and the way they walk: speed in steps, have a destination and such attitude in their movements.
I see people laughing, in sunday, giving me a quick glance.
Everybody seems to be making the sunday ritual but me.
I feel unique for this very moment...
I feel lonely...out of planet...of wave...I feel out...
I´m right now like a tourist of every simple place...
an spectator...just that...
Where are my planet?
I feel eclectic right now
and for the first time i find that name
for my situation for years and years of loneliness
but anything like today, anything like this weird month...
I have such sensation like if I would have taken a piece of everything around and have made my outfit for the sunday ride...for my life ride.. I feel eclectic, unique and very lonely.
Suddenly i find a great song on ipod...
and I say for thousandth time to me: i´m better right now, like now, eclectic, lonely, unique, I can´t surrender, I just cannot.

A brief reflection

When I arrived here I started to see things from my own site. Behaviour of habitants are very close described for my landlord: "a behaviour of self-sufficiency". Arrogance, like somepeople would briefly describe.
I reflected after have read an article, why "arrogance" like a particularity of behaviour here...
On century 16th undiscovered places were a jewel to men for the easy way to appropriating them and settle a civilization already developed at the other side of the ocean. What a great advantage, comparable maybe with some ways to earn a living nowadays; some cases are result of a good fortune, a very privileged position maybe, and certainly by capabilities. The very good conditions and speed of this process or "easy way" could make people at some point attribute all that ingredients to build the egos, behaving arrogantly with a big proud, and then identity for all that "ingredients".

We Mexicans, have such kind of peculiarity: we are made for two inheritanced models of thinking and being...historically speaking the first are a culture wich never has had received any external influence; and the other, came suddenly, a big culture that appropriated this place and allowed the mixture of races. First one are already in a good percent in our blood. Such situation make an eternal conflict: we are designed in body and soul to live in a mode that no loger exists; and the mode that was adopted suddenly never has been understood at one hundred percent. Three weeks ago I went to the Museum of Fine Arts where I saw a paint of century 18th: was a naked(is "naked" the technical name of those kind of paintings?) and were called "The latin american women". I´ll get naked but I don´t care: I felt very identified with her corporal forms that where more indigenous than european(just for naming two defined models). For this sudden fact today I feel myself more included in that side: the interrupted culture.
I think Mexicans have a very important work to do.

First Class Day

What a lovely place
What a lovely time right now
And what a lovely way to feel everything i have around me. Today a simple relationship make me smile sincerely once again since three or more days ago when something like a depression was starting for this days, being so lonely walking for places i would have to be sharing with somebody...ooh the absence of camera, the power of it...
but is the begining... i remembered one day in kindergarden, a sudden memorie of a friendship so related and similar to me. I´m in love of love, of me, in love of my similars. How could innumeral things make of yourself a specific profile that when you are in college you find people like you, so than, it seems to be yourself in another body. It´s amazing. It´s really a love energy i can´t ignore.